Whenever I find my destination for travel, I rarely choose beaches because I’m afraid of the sea. I don’t like the emptiness of the sea especially when we need to take a boat/ship to other islands. I think it’s scary as I’m not good at swimming so I incline to think the worst when floating on the water without seeing any nearby lands.
So the photos of the beach for Alisa’s travel theme this week were from my former company’s trip that I went there with my ex-boyfriend.
We went to Krabi, a province on the Southern of Thailand, where has a lot of beautifully famous beaches and the sea.
We visited Phi Phi Island to have lunch and touch the sea.
To be honest, I had moved all photos of this trip to my external hard drive after breaking up with my ex-boyfriend because I don’t want to recall the memory of us together even though I was the one who broke up with him. I don’t feel sad when looking at those photos of us but they remind me of my weakness at the time I let a fear of being alone for the rest of my life to overcome my true self.
Actually, we started as a couple of happiness like everyone else, I guess. Every thing looked lovely and bright in the future. However, things have changed when we began to expect something more from each other. I needed to alter my behavior, how/what/when to speak. I didn’t understand why a couple needs to be together all the time. Why could we have our own personal space? Why did we need to talk on the phone every nights or all day? Why didn’t he spend some of his time with his friend? No need to be with me or talk to me all the time.
And because my actions were sometimes against my true nature, he would get easily angry at me and I didn’t know what I did wrong. Although he never physically hurt me, his rage affected me emotionally.
Eventually, one of my journey helped me to realize what I exactly want with my life and walking away from that emotion-destructive relationship was the thing I should do. I finally did it.
I used to think that I shouldn’t have met him, but I changed my thought as I believe that being with him shaped me to be the person I am today. There are some good sides in our experiences as he helped me realize my flaw which I continue to fix them. Moreover, I’m better at being patience than in the past and I learn to listen others before speaking my mind.
Going back to the album of this trip, I decided to copy some photos back to my laptop. But, they certainly aren’t photos of him.